Costa Rica - Nicaragua - Guatemala

Monday 31^th of January.

As I am now sitting all alone in a somewhat spartan hotel room near Coca-Cola in San Jose with nothing better to do, I thought I will do something that I seldom do... Write. More specifically, write a travel log.

In four hours I'm meeting Pablo, a Tico friend I didn't think I would be able to see on my journeys, as things didn't go as planned. Is anyone surprised? Thought not :)

We're having dinner and some beers before I leave for Nicaragua at 04:00, Tuesday. I hope I will not be too drunk. I also hope that if I'm slightly intoxicated, then they will have bathrooms... Maybe I shouldn't drink much... But one cannot go to a country without tasting their beer (old viking saying)

Anyway.. Up to this point the following have happened:

Sunday 30^th of January.

I did not go to bed, so around 0:01 I was done packing, but still in the mood for packing, so I did what anyone in that mood does. I cleaned and washed my entire flat. At 03:00 I was thinking about going to Villaen to say good bye to people, but I'll only be gone for two weeks and they probably won't miss me that much...

I also found some other tasks that I could do and had been putting out for some time... Like cleaning the inside of my computers and installing yet another hard drive... Really? How fascinating! -.-

This almost made me lose my bus to the airport (but that happens every time).

I had to run as I forgot I had to mail my key to my mother so she can check my mail and pay any important bills I might receive... (thanks mom :) ..) This meant a small detour, but I was already late... The bus however was even later and the running was all for nothing.

At the airport the super friendly guy at the tax free store recognized me :)

In Copenhagen some American TCA agent (or something) picked me out for some random terrorist screening. They took my boarding card, passport and took me over a secluded bench..

“Please have a seat over here, Sir”

“OK”

“Have you packed your bags yourself?”

“Yes”

“Blah blah blah”

“Yes, Yes, Yes”

“What electronic devices do you have with you”

“Two cell phones, one mp3-player, one laptop, one digital camera, one video camera and two flashlights”

That made him flinch :)

“Do you have any weapons?”

“Yes”

That also made him flinch.

I then proudly described my samekniv and promised I would use it for good and not evil. Or as I actually said:

“It's more a utility knife then a weapon really, but I going to the jungle so I need it”

I then take full credit for crashing the airport computer system. The TCA agent was freaking out and the next 20 minutes I overhear this woman on the phone reading my passport details to pretty everyone on the airport. They still let me on the airplane and flying was uneventful, except for the fact that I had three seats to myself and thus slept like a baby. We landed 22 minutes too late.

In New York I had to do check-in again. They did not have the nude scanners...

I had a horrible McDonald's hamburger... And McDonald's was actually the least crappy food I found. A McAngus with Mushrooms.. Did not enjoy, would not recommend, but I needed to break my Jeffersons ($20 bills) for the taxes and bribes on the border passing’s of Central America. I also had a more decent coffee for this same reason.

The salt had warnings..

Salt has SALT in it? OMG!!

At my gate they suddenly said:

“We regret to inform you that the flight.. blablah.. has been oversold and we kindly ask for a volunteer to postpone their flight until tomorrow”

I was at the counter before she was finished.

She took my boarding-pass, gave me a receipt and asked me to wait. If they ended up with any spare places, I would go to Costa Rica, if not I would get a night in New York, free hotel, dinner at fancy restaurant, first class flight to Costa Rica the next day and a $400 travel coupon!

Almost, but not quite there... Some idiot didn't make the flight and thus I got to go... Crap!

So I landed in Costa Rica at the planned hour and went towards the buses. I disregarded the taxi drivers talking about how dangerous it is to take the bus and went to la Coca Cola at close to 20:00.. Which feels like midnight because of the darkness, loud music from strange discotecas and dodgy characters running around the streets. Must admit I was a bit nervous walking around with my 20kg of somewhat expensive items.

I went looking for a hotel Bienvenido (which apparently doesn't exist anymore, but I thought I just missed it) Instead I found the Nuevo Alameda, which I stayed at last time. He wanted 7000 colones (81NOK, €10.. I love my currency app) and I remember the quality of those rooms... So.. I went outside, found a taxi and asked if he knew any cheaper ones than that one (and pointed to the Alameda), he points behind me to the Hotel Riviera. 4000 colones (46NOK, €6), looked like a whorehouse, but the paper thin walls and lack of moaning made me not too skeptical. Actually.. Many places in Costa Rica only have walls up to a certain height. This one was of such a construct. Above 2.5 meters or so there are openings so that air can circulate and the rooms are kept cool.

It was a 2 by 1,5 meter room with a bed, no blanket and a lot of tissues on a chair (the only other piece of furniture)... Whorehouse symptoms, but not any... noise. Paid the man, chained my luggage to the bed, got out and went to the Nicaragua terminal with a very nice taxi driver. The area around La Coca Cola is dangerous and the taxi is 540 colones (6NOK, €0,8) so why risk it.

People were already waiting for the 04:00 bus (which I was hoping to take), but alas.... Ticket office was closed and didn't open until 07:00. And you need to buy tickets in advance :(

Walked back since I now knew the way and I didn't see any gangs whilst going there. Walking is also a very good way to get a mental map of where I actually am. Got back.. Exhausted.. No bad noises so I drifted into sleep.

Monday 30^th of January.

I woke up at 06:00, which is surprisingly easy to do the closer you get to the equator. There was no hot water, which I hate.. But I really, really needed a shower. Took a taxi to the terminal and got a ticket, but I have to wait until Tuesday at 04:00. Wasn't planning on spending so much time in San Jose, but I can adapt.. Meeting Pablo wouldn't happen without these things happening :)

Got a taxi again and tried to find the Hotel Bienvenido... No one knew were it was, but I found my guidebook and showed the address to the last taxi driver I asked... Who tried to con me. Taxis should cost around 500 colones, and when the meter showed 1000 colones and I noticed we were leaving the Coca Cola area I asked him were we were going and that I didn't have any more money. He froze the taximeter and spent the next 10 minutes trying to find the right place (Trygve 1 – Taxi 0). The Hotel had changed name to Novo Uno and charged $50. Not acceptable. The Riviera was just around the block and I went back there.. To the whorehouse.. Now.. My Spanish is not very good, and it took me some time to understand what happened next, but.. He didn't want my business. Kept trying to say something about “dia” and “media hora” over and over again. Out on the street again I understood what he tried to say... “In the daytime, we only rent out rooms for 30 minutes at the time” … Whorehouse! I felt dirty.

So... Now I'm staying at the Hotel Neuvo Alameda.. Which has hot water and a no visitors policy. The room is almost the same size as my flat in Bergen, but costs 9000 when you come during daytime.

I then did some walkabout in San Jose, had breakfast in the Central Market (Gallo Pinto, how I missed you!) I'm really confused about Costa Rican prices... It's perfect for backpackers. Buses cost next to nothing, hotels not so much (unless you want luxury), a couple of snicker bars on the other hand.. That's more than my first “hotel” room... *shrugs*

The American fast food joints are also expensive, but the sodas are wonderful! Local food by locals. Rise, beans, plantains, tortilla chips, half a chicken, salad, a big cup of fresh juice and a coffee for 3000 colones (35NOK, €4.4) A Big Mac menu is probably double that.. The Supermarket Beer Test puts Costa Rica at slightly more expensive than Madrid. €1 for a liter of beer... Some items are even more expensive than Norway.. And yes, I do obsess over prices.

Found an Internet cafe and got Pablo's phone number. Also wrote a conspiratory mail to Annie in Guatemala as I'm planning a trip to surprise Stephanie :):) ..and I told my mother I'm still alive. I am a bit worried as Monkey has not sent me his, or any other, phone numbers... Meaning I have no idea of how to meet him when I get to Finca Magdalena :-S

Called Pablo, who was very surprised (I sent him a facebook message, but he'd been busy and hadn't seen it). I offered to buy him dinner and I will meet him at 20:00. Hopefully I can find the Teatro Nacional..

Went back, started writing.. Don't think I missed out on too many things. Kinda feel like posting this on the Internet now, but Stephanie could find it and that is unacceptable. I doubt the rest of my days will be as heavily documented, but if I find the time... Maybe.. At any rate.. My future plans are:

1. 04:00 1.Feb – Going to Nicaragua, Rivas. Getting from there to San Jorge and taking a boat to the volcanic island of Ometepe. From there to Basgüe and Finca Magdalena.
2. Somehow meeting Monkey.
3. Die in Jungle (only if failing 2. if successful in 3. other points are void)
4. Learn all sorts of crazy stuff about plants, Eco-level-farming and electric windmills
5. Get to Guatemala City!
6. Surprise Stephanie
7. Somehow getting back to San Jose for my flight back to Norway

Oh.. btw.. I'm going to rain forest, at high elevation they call them cloud-forests. It sounds really exotic, but.. If I want to see a bunch of trees covered in moss and crazy amounts of rain.. We do have that in Norway. The occasional humming bird is nice, but mostly it kinda looks like Norway without the spiky trees. At least that was my impression from Monte Verde last time I was in Costa Rica, maybe Ometepe will be different.

So.. I'm curious to see if I'll write more.. These were my thoughts after spending 24 hours in Costa Rica. I still have like 350 to go :)

Forgot to mention the horrible travel guide I brought.. I got two, one is the rough guide to Central America, it's from 2004, the last time I went to Costa Rica. It sucks. And I managed to put it to some use by cutting out the pictures and using them as gift wrap. The other guide was the one that recommended Bienvenido.. Guides generally suck. As Jolijn once said about lonely planet guides.. At least now we know why they're lonely.

Its now Thursday the 3^rd of February

I'm barely alive... But only because it is in the morning and my coffee hasn't really gotten into my system. It's 09:05 right now and I've had breakfast at the farm where monkey works. The last couple of days have had its events, but I fear that I will not be able to document them very well. Too many things are happening and I have no time for writing.

Anyway..

Monday 30^th of January

I met Pablo! He called the Hotel right after I finished my shower. Perfect timing. We planned on meeting a bit earlier, but due to Tico-time it turned out to be the time we set upon before. This is actually very precise for Costa Rica. Everything is supposed to happen sometime later then scheduled, but I did meet another old friend.

I was unable to do anything bad to it..

I waited for Pablo at the National Theater. Had a coffee as I started getting very tired. Damned jet-lag. Then this woman approaches me in a very aggressive seductive manner. I was a bit taken aback and the dollar signs in her eyes gave me reason of concern, so I didn't really play along. She was quite attractive though.. Anyway, Pablo comes and she scurries of like she just saw the police or something. Hmm.

Anyway, me and Pablo start catching up over dinner and I had a nice juicy steak at this Argentinian restaurant. Pablo is very nice. I got invited to stay at his place if I needed to, even if he wasn't there. He works at this gringo world college type of school, and was going to a field trip for a weekend. Still offered me his keys though.. Which is a level of hospitality unheard of in Norway.

I got back to the Hotel and had a couple of hours of sleep until waking up at 03:00

Tuesday 01^st of February

Taxi to bus terminal, bus from there...First I manage to get a bit more sleep, we stop at this travelers cantina for bathrooms and some nice breakfast before finally arriving at the Nicaraguan border. This part went well.. Unfortunately the good ends there.. The border crossing was boring as hell, the closest thing to an event was some old gringos not understanding that the one line that existed was something they should actually get in. They just stood around looking confused, not listening to the comments of the locals and then when a new bus arrived, putting them at least 30 min back in the queue, they figured action was probably a wise thing.

The whole border crossing took probably two hours. First line at the exit of Costa Rica, then the people from the bus collected our passports and we got back in the bus. A long wait between the borders in the bus, going nowhere. Then taking our bags on a long table and having some official look for suspicious things. Then our passports was returned and we got back on the bus.

Rivas was close to the border, far to close. I was not prepared. I also had been stupid and taken some things out of my bag. Result... When they yelled Rivas I was totally unprepared. Hurried of, jumped in the nearest taxi forgetting my jacket and forgetting to haggle. The taxi driver wanted $10 bucks. I looked at him, told him it was too much, but I was not in my prime... (Trygve 1 – Taxis 1)

I was now in San Jorge where I was greeted by this friendly Italian restaurant owner who made horrible pasta. The service was great though, his recommendations from the menu was based on how much time until the next ferry. I was still upset from the jacket/taxi thing so I didn't really enjoy the ferry ride, but it was majestic. The perfect cone of the Vulcan Conception rising from the waters.

The ferry was full of gringos, what I thought was a secluded island is apparently a major tourist destination... Crap. :P

But it's difficult to hide places in the Americas from gringos. Thanks to Monkey I've managed to get of the beaten path before, but I will not be able to do that here.

I met some people on these travels, first this gringo going to Managua and later this Swiss girl in the bus to Balgüe, but we weren't going the same way so the encounters were short. The poor girl was not very happy traveling alone, as she got a lot of unsolicited attention from every Nicaraguan man she met. Also met this hyperactive couple who took a picture of me at the ferry.

And that horrible picture is one of the better ones I got.. Which is the reason why there is no facebook album.

The walk from Balgüe was long. I had now idea weather or not Monkey would show up, but I was heading towards Finca Magdalena. In the jungle I found this sign, hoping for Finca Magdalena I got very surprised to find this:

I found Finca Magdalena some five minutes later and got there exactly the same time as Monkey did. We made quite a spectacle screaming Monkey to each other and being happy for our reunion. Monkey had not eaten anything, but did not really manage to express this so when we had two beers he was tipsy enough to not be able to stop drinking and tried getting me to help him kill a bottle of rum. I tried making him slow down but he got quite drunk.

The night was horrible. We booked a room at Finca Magdalena. It had a mosquito net, which Monkey destroyed by rolling out of bed. He didn't even wake up, but I had a horrible dream were I got eaten alive by mosquitoes which turned into this guy who was chasing me being very annoying. I took refuge in this orthodox Jewish star wars convention, where nerds was drinking Tru Blood thinking they were cool. I have no idea how my imagination conjured this up.

I woke up and fixed the mosquito net. The hardest part of this was getting Monkey awake and letting go of the net.

Wednesday 2^nd of February

Breakfast the next morning was served and ready when we got up. Wrote about my travels so far and now we're going down to the farm...

Tuesday 8^th of February

Right now I am sitting in a hotel room all by myself having nothing better to do.. So.. As I speculated on earlier.. I wouldn't write much until being here. So let me tell you about The Monkey. There is a whole religion based on the friendship between me and a certain Señor Cristofer Fallas. I am The Monkey, he is The Monkey and then there is The MONKEY, who is the cause of all evil in the universe, especially when it comes to things that happen to us. Our adventures in this encounter can be quickly summed up, but detail, I think, cannot be expressed.

For pesky rings, go in opposite direction

The volcano can explode at any moment, if it does.. Please consider going this way... To die.

The Volcano luckily didn't blow up, So we spent our days, talking about what we normally do, black holes, theoretical particles, philosophy of the mind and the like. He introduced me to some books I must read (if I haven't lost that piece of paper) and I promised to teach him Prolog. He would like that, being a math genius and such. Then we made soap, as Monkey loves so much.. but it didn't settle before I left so I didn't get any souvenirs. Monkey forgot to close the tent, so when I went to sleep one night I crawl into the tent. Now.. Monkey has told me of this kind of Huntsman spider they have on Isla Ometepe. Brown, large, slightly tarantula looking with small red hairs that will give you a rash for a month. The bite is five times a wasp sting.. Anyway.. I was tired and didn't really care about spiders, or so I thought. Sleep didn't find me so I checked the tent and of course... There was a brown, large, slightly tarantula looking spider with small red hairs eying me with some suspicion inside the tent with me. I calmly opened the tent, went over to Monkey (who had started cooking because of the munchies). “Monkey”, I said. “There is a brown, large, slightly tarantula looking spider with small red hairs which was eying me with some suspicion inside the tent.“

“Oh shit”, says the Monkey (I do not vouch for the complete correctness of these quotes.. or my calmness)

We then very carefully empty the tent, the spider gets annoyed and runs away..

I then get a parasite and gets knocked out for some days :(

So.. I didn't get to learn anything about windmills. I did however learn some nice things about patterns in nature and why phi is such a nice number. The jungle was nothing like the cloud forests of Costa Rica, Ometepe is far warmer and dryer then I though, which was not such a bad thing. Except for the parasite.

The volcano as seen from the Farm

And then back to more current events... I decided to leave in a heartbeat. I was thinking for a long time that I should stay another day, but then I checked my facebook and found a message from Annie! She had managed to get the wheels moving on our surprise party and to meet her at the appointed hour I had to leave stat. I got on a bunch of different buses and now.. I find myself in Managua, the capital of Nicaragua. My guidebook actually found a place! And it's wonderful place, with Internet! Cold water though, but in this heat.. That might just be a benefit. Managua is hot!

To call Managua a city might be stretching the concept. It's more like a huge village. Kinda like what Oslo will be in a couple of years (given global warming and such). To get there I had to take a taxi through the entire city. My taxi driver suddenly wanted $20, due to some bullshit claims, but I've done my homework and handed him what he rightfully deserved in local currency and he took it (Trygve 2 – Taxis 1).

So.. I got sleepy and went to bed.. Now I suddenly find myself back in Norway and must write of events long passed, but I think I recall...

Dwarven Waybread, Terry Pratchett Style

I got up early, about 01:00.. I asked the receptionist for a taxi, but he just shrugged, got his keys and drove me to the bus terminal. It was a three minute drive, but one I could not safely walk alone. Taking the bus to Guatemala from Nicaragua was surprisingly much more comfortable then my Costa Rica – Nicaragua experience... Except for these pretzels, which tasted like dry catfood, fried in diesel. The border crossings only sometimes required me to leave the bus (which was less then half-full) and going to San Salvador I met this nice customs officer. He startled me by talking Norwegian as he'd been a folk-high school student in his youth.. Small world.

I came to Guatemala and waited for Annie. Two guards armed with sidearms and combat shotguns watched over the tiny terminal. A third was just leaving and hid his weapons behind the chocolate vending machine, which tempted me.. but I did not manage to steal (also.. it would be difficult to get into Norway). Annie came and drove me to her boyfriends house (I think), met some friends and family and I got to recite tales of spiders and my other adventures. Big success :-)

Then we went to the bar and I hid in the bathroom as Stephanie arrived.. Everything went according to plan:

We had a few beers and Stephanie took me back to her place. Unfortunately the only safe way of traveling in Guatemala City is to drive yourself, so alcohol consumption was not Madrid style. I was photogenic.. As always...

Not.

The next day we went to Stephs workplace, a laboratory were they played around with DNA and other nifty things.. Half excepted to see some incarnation of Frankensteins monster break loose, but apparently security was too tight.

We went out with her friends a second time and Stephanie, having promised Esteban, got me drunk. I still managed to behave, as far as I know.. The next day I had to write a paper for a class. Then I felt sorry for myself as the parasites from Nicaragua grew in strength and poor Steph had a lot to do herself. We watched a movie and got ready for Sunday. Sunday we went with Stephs brother to Antigua and looked at churches suffering from earthquake damage. God destroys far more churches then any Black Metal Satanist ever managed. We then had some fantastic Nachos.

Monday came and I went to the airport. Time to go back to Costa Rica. Got a bottle of the best Guatemalan rum and look forward to testing which one is truly the best.. Zacapa or Flor de Caña.. if only I had some freshly squeezed sugar cane :-/

Mmm.. Sugarcane... And gringas :)

This one is from the farm, and yes.. We drank the juice with rum.

For some reason, business class was cheaper then economy so the flight was truly enjoyable. Real glasses, plates and cutlery, a menu of different meals and more of whatever I wanted.

I met up with Pablo again and had some hours of shut eye before going back to the airport for the final return flight to Norway. The voyage back was very uneventful, at Newark they had the nude scanner, but it was turned of. I bought a box of Hershey's Kisses, which I dunno.. might contain almonds. It had almonds on the box, on different warning labels and every single piece of chocolate was covered with a strip of paper saying “Almonds”. It tasted like almonds.. Almonds covered in shit. Oh.. I also discovered that due to some error in timezones one of my deadlines was a day earlier than expected. So.. I can't take INFO221 anymore. That means the 105ECTS project failed.. *sigh* On a brighter note, I got a 100% on my INF142 assignment (which only proves that they don't really correct it, because.. It was faulty as shit. A program that add values to a server and disregards any value above 9 is not worthy an A)

Flying to Frankfurt and then to Bergen without incident.. And lo behold.. I'm home...